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Strap-On Sex for Beginners: Back-to-Basics

Strap-On Sex for Beginners: Back-to-Basics

People of all genders and sexualities can and do enjoy strap-on sex. Strap-on sex utilizes a combination of a harness and dildo. Using toys for the first time in the bedroom can be intimidating at first for many! It took me until my 20’s to finally begin using sex toys with partners, and for the longest time, I had no idea how to even start! I was worried I wouldn’t do it right and wouldn’t have the proper technique to pleasure myself or my partner.

Fortunately, there is a plethora of information, so we don’t have to feel so alone and scared to try new things like this. I’m excited to share my do’s and dont’s of strap-on sex with you, so you don’t have to feel like I did when I began my journey into strap-on play.

Hopefully, after reading this article, you have the confidence to not only master the art of strap-on play but to fully embody your sexuality and try anything that sounds fun to you! With a bit of education and a little practice, you’ll have everything you need to form a secure relationship with sex toys in the bedroom!

Quality Materials

Starting with quality materials may not seem like an important step, but it really will make a difference. You don’t want to use porous toys that contain harmful materials or sex toys not made with your comfort and pleasure in mind. Luckily, plenty of fantastic toy options won’t break your bank and are made with high-quality materials.

Below I’m going to list my favorite harness and dildo combos and why I think they’re the best option for your first time exploring with a strap-on!

Harness Options:

A great harness is the foundation of sex with a strap-on. You need a harness that holds the dildo just right. You don’t want any slipping or falling of the dildo to happen, especially when you’re trying this for the first time. You want the dildo to fit comfortably and securely in your harness and during penetration.

My first choice for a perfect harness is the Temptasia Harness Briefs. They come in sizes small-XL and 2x-5x. I absolutely love that these briefs come in so many sizes! As a plus-sized person myself, sometimes it can be incredibly hard to find anything in my size. To know that the makers of this harness really care about inclusive sizing matters a lot to me.

Another thing I love about these harness briefs is they are so comfortable, just like regular brief underwear. They are thick, secure, and comfortable for movement of all angles. These briefs also feature two pockets that fit most bullet-sized vibrators for maximum stimulation! However, you find yourself moving around while you’re wearing these briefs, you can count on them to keep everything exactly as it needs to be.

You can also use these briefs for packing, not just sex. How cool is that?

My second choice for a perfect beginner’s harness is the Temptasia Lovelace Harness. This harness is one size and has fully adjustable straps so you can fit it perfectly against your body. If you’re unsure about using briefs for any reason, this is a fantastic choice instead.

This harness fits up to a 60-inch waistline and features one pocket to hold a bullet vibrator! Whichever harness calls to you, you won’t be sacrificing quality or stimulation as both options cater to most everyone’s harness needs.

Dildo Options:

For dildo recommendations, I suggest any of the Temptasia dildos go perfectly with either harness. These dildos are a part of the same collection of toys, so they are specifically made to fit with these harnesses. However, most toys with a suction cup base will be able to fit into the O ring on the harnesses, so if you have a personal favorite, grab it!

It’s essential to find a dildo that is small at first so you can get the feel before moving up! Use your best judgment.

Do’s and Don’ts:

Things you should consider doing before engaging in strap on sex include,

  • Communicate with the person you are going to engage in strap on sex with, figure out your boundaries and what you both are comfortable and not comfortable doing.
  • Make sure you have the proper materials to get started
  • Don’t forget the lube!!
  • Be as confident as you can! Everyone starts somewhere. Don’t let lack of experience hold you back.

My only Don’t for you is not to do anything you aren’t comfortable doing. Go as slow as you need to, take all the time you need, and do things at a pace you’re ready for. You can always stop if you’re not having fun and come back to it when you wish.

There’s no right or wrong way to begin. Take your time and communicate with all parties involved. Trying something new can be scary, and it doesn’t have to be! Anything you need to create an enjoyable experience is valid, and you can make that reality. Happy exploring!


Written by Lucii Love, blogger, toy reviewer, and educator.

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